A few of the things that have been swirling around in my brain since leaving the island are:
1. I want to go back ASAP!
2. Im forgetting tons of things already.
3. It changed me.
Everytime I mention that I spent a good part of my summer in Puerto Rico I get asked some version of the question, "How was it?" and I never know how to answer. The trip was so many different things to me. It was a life-changing experience. A friend of mine asked me today if I classified myself as Latina, and it really made me think alot about what being Latina meant to me.
Before this trip, I knew nothing about Puerto Rico, Spanish, Puerto Rican culture... absolutely nothing. The only link I had to PR was my dad and even he was detached from Puerto Rico. Its so strange to think that my dad left the island when he was my age and has spent more time off the island than actually on the island.
Im not sure If I wrote about this in an earlier post but just in case I didnt here is a little more background about me. My mother is Native American, Navajo to be exact. Her first language is Navajo and my dads first language is Spanish. Growing up in their household, I heard English. This makes sense seeing as it was the only language my parents could communicate in. haha
I grew up on the reservation and around other Native Americans. I grew up with the Navajo culture. The Navajo language. Everything. Because of this Ive always identified as Native American and hardly ever as Latina. Up until about 5th grade Id never really experienced any kind of Latino culture. I knew I was Puerto Rican but as a child I had no idea what that really meant. I knew it separated me from my peers, it gave me a different last name, it gave me wavy hair instead of straight hair and all these things marked me as Latina even if I didnt realize it or identify as Latina.
In 5th grade my family moved to a small town just outside of Santa Fe, called Espanola and this was the first time Id ever had contact (outside of my dad) with other Latinos. Most of the people in this town were Mexican, Catholic and fluent in Spanish. I went to school there for 2 years. I played Basketball, I was a cheerleader and I even picked up a little bit of an accent. I was taking Spanish classes and it was the first time I realized that I was something else. Since almost everyone in that town was Mexican, when I started to tell people I was half Puerto Rican I would get interesting comments. I think I began to identify as part Puerto Rican in order to fit in better there. Being Native American meant nothing to them and so the only way to get in with them was to claim some kind of same-heritage (or something like that).
Anyway. Ive already mentioned how everytime Ive identified as Puerto Rican, I would get questions about whether or not I spoke Spanish, had been to PR etc. and how I never had an answer, so my identification as being part Puerto Rican soon stopped. I didnt feel like I had any claim to that part of myself so I went back to being Native American.
This trip was monumental in getting over my "identification issues". Now that I have been to the island and now that I have "proof" I finally feel free to identify as part Puerto Rican. My cousin Ramon, wrote me a message saying, "be proud. You are Puerto Rican!" and thats totally true. I can finally claim my ethnicity and believe myself when I say it.
I will post more about the other things Ive learned later. This post has gotten pretty long so I will give your poor eyes a break.
Here is a picture of me in Massachusetts, representing my Puerto Rican heritage. :)
