(Finally) Becoming Puerto Rican

Ive thought about continuing this blog with a few post-trip thoughts and reflections but never got around to actually logging in again and doing it. After a friend of mine mentioned that I should I gave in.

A few of the things that have been swirling around in my brain since leaving the island are:

1. I want to go back ASAP!
2. Im forgetting tons of things already.
3. It changed me.

Everytime I mention that I spent a good part of my summer in Puerto Rico I get asked some version of the question, "How was it?" and I never know how to answer. The trip was so many different things to me. It was a life-changing experience. A friend of mine asked me today if I classified myself as Latina, and it really made me think alot about what being Latina meant to me.

Before this trip, I knew nothing about Puerto Rico, Spanish, Puerto Rican culture... absolutely nothing. The only link I had to PR was my dad and even he was detached from Puerto Rico. Its so strange to think that my dad left the island when he was my age and has spent more time off the island than actually on the island.

Im not sure If I wrote about this in an earlier post but just in case I didnt here is a little more background about me. My mother is Native American, Navajo to be exact. Her first language is Navajo and my dads first language is Spanish. Growing up in their household, I heard English. This makes sense seeing as it was the only language my parents could communicate in. haha

I grew up on the reservation and around other Native Americans. I grew up with the Navajo culture. The Navajo language. Everything. Because of this Ive always identified as Native American and hardly ever as Latina. Up until about 5th grade Id never really experienced any kind of Latino culture. I knew I was Puerto Rican but as a child I had no idea what that really meant. I knew it separated me from my peers, it gave me a different last name, it gave me wavy hair instead of straight hair and all these things marked me as Latina even if I didnt realize it or identify as Latina.

In 5th grade my family moved to a small town just outside of Santa Fe, called Espanola and this was the first time Id ever had contact (outside of my dad) with other Latinos. Most of the people in this town were Mexican, Catholic and fluent in Spanish. I went to school there for 2 years. I played Basketball, I was a cheerleader and I even picked up a little bit of an accent. I was taking Spanish classes and it was the first time I realized that I was something else. Since almost everyone in that town was Mexican, when I started to tell people I was half Puerto Rican I would get interesting comments. I think I began to identify as part Puerto Rican in order to fit in better there. Being Native American meant nothing to them and so the only way to get in with them was to claim some kind of same-heritage (or something like that).

Anyway. Ive already mentioned how everytime Ive identified as Puerto Rican, I would get questions about whether or not I spoke Spanish, had been to PR etc. and how I never had an answer, so my identification as being part Puerto Rican soon stopped. I didnt feel like I had any claim to that part of myself so I went back to being Native American.

This trip was monumental in getting over my "identification issues". Now that I have been to the island and now that I have "proof" I finally feel free to identify as part Puerto Rican. My cousin Ramon, wrote me a message saying, "be proud. You are Puerto Rican!" and thats totally true. I can finally claim my ethnicity and believe myself when I say it.

I will post more about the other things Ive learned later. This post has gotten pretty long so I will give your poor eyes a break.

Here is a picture of me in Massachusetts, representing my Puerto Rican heritage. :)

The End (or The Beginning)

Post- Puerto Rico

Its been a few weeks since Ive returned from Puerto Rico and I miss is sooooo much.

The last month I was there I stayed with my Uncle Orlando. I spent alot of time watching TV, helping my cousin Suhei with her English homework and babysitting babies.

While at my Uncle Orlandos, we made a few day trips to Corozal to meet Carmen's (my dads mother) family. The trip went very well. We got along well and I was able to get names, phone numbers and pictures of a few of my dads family -many that he has never even met!





The last few weeks in my Uncles house, it really started to set in that I was going to leave and it felt bittersweet. On one hand I couldn't wait to get back to school and on the other hand I really didnt want to leave.

The day before my flight I went with my Aunt Ada to Fajardo. We got to look out over the beach at some of the smaller islands off of Puerto Rico. We collected sea shells (soooooo many here!) and drove around taking pictures.





I felt like Id just started to make connections with my family and feeling comfortable enough to fully be myself and it was already time to go. :( Even though there were days where I did absolutely nothing, just being on the island and around my family was enough. I loved to see them do their normal everyday things and I really enjoyed being apart of their lives.

The days before my flight out were the worst. I really didnt want to leave. Sitting in the airport, I was tempted to just run back out the doors and stay there forever. My cousins were texting me and some of their texts made me sad to leave. They told me they loved me and to come back and visit them soon--which I promised to do.

Now that Ive had a few weeks to think about what exactly Ive gotten out of this trip I think I can say that I feel legitimate (maybe complete?) now. Ive learned alot more than I planned to. I didnt learn that much spanish but thats okay because I learned alot about myself.

My entire life Ive known that I was 1/2 Puerto Rican but I never had any real claim to it.

-Id never been to Puerto Rico
-I couldnt speak Spanish
-I didnt know the first thing about how to "be" Puerto Rican

But now, after this trip, I feel like I can say that "I am Puerto Rican" and not feel guilty about it or worry about people asking probing questions about my legitimacy.

-Have you ever been there? (No)
-Do you speak Spanish? (Not well)

This trip has given me a real grasp of who I am and what being Puerto Rican means to me. I dont think Ive fully thought out everything Ive learned yet and I dont think I will ever understand it completely but right now I am incredibly happy with what I have learned.

This trip has given me confidence and allowed me to explore and learn about a part of my history and self that has been missing for too long. I can say now that Ive actually been to Puerto Rico. I have names of family members attached to faces. I know that if I ever want to go back I have alot of people who will welcome me into their homes. The connections I made to my family members means the world to me. It makes me happy just knowing that they are in my life.

While I was there, I never felt like I was unwelcome, there were times I felt uncomfortable but never unwelcome. If theres one thing I can say about Puerto Ricans, its that once your in, your in. They love you unconditionally. They care about you no matter what. And they grow as attached to you as you do to them.

Leaving Puerto Rico was hard but I know that I will come back. I made a promise that I would and until then, the memories and the pictures I have will have to suffice. They have truely given me a new understanding of who I am and a better look into the life of my father.

I only wish I could have went sooner.

Te Amo Mucho mis Familia! (I really love my family)
Gracias por todo! (Thank you for everything)

This trip has meant more to me than I can describe in words

Day 35: Back to Tio Orlandos Place

Today I am leaving Orocovis and heading back to my Uncle Orlandos place in Bayamon. It is bittersweet. I am happy to be back with my uncle but a little sad to leave one behind. I have been in Puerto Rico for 35 days now. It feels so much longer.

I bought my return ticket to school last night for August 28. Another bittersweet moment. I love Puerto Rico but I feel like I need to be busier and productive.

As much as I love sitting around the house here in Orocovis, drinking cafe (coffee), eating pan (bread) and watching hours of TV I need something new and exciting. Im going to miss the mountains and Tio Ramons dog Brownie but mostly I will miss the company. My Uncle Ramon and Aunt Lucy have made me feel incredibly welcome and I will miss Ramons craziness.

Im not sure what I will do in Bayamon but Im guessing it will be alot of going to the beach and maybe San Juan. :) After my last beach trip I am planning to wear LOTS of sunscreen. I dont know how much darker I can get but I have faith my skin will surprise me but turning darker.

Anyway Im not sure how often I will be able to update but I will try my hardest to find internet.

I am looking forward to my last few weeks here. Ive been wanting to try this program called . Basically you stay in random peoples homes and crash on their couches or beds (if your lucky). I think this would be another great way to explore the island and experience different parts of PR. As much as I love living with family I feel like I am starting to become a burden. They have to entertain me, feed me and give me a place to sleep. Im thinking of asking my uncle if I can do this for a week.

I dont think it will go over well. I know they are concerned about my inability to speak fluent Spanish and about my safety overall.

Oh well. Till next time kids.

Day 26: Sunburn, Science Teachers and Losing Money

The past fews days have been spent in Bayamon with Uncle Ramon, Aunt Lucy and Kevin. We stayed in the apartment and spent all day Saturday at the beach.



We went with a group of people from Orocovis. One of the men we were with mentioned that he was my fathers 4-6th Grade Science Teacher! He described my dad as being a very nice boy.

We got to the beach around 8am. We tried to find a nice spot to camp out for the day but all the spots with tables were taken so we settled in next to the showers, which turned out great. I spent most of the time in the water and applied sunscreen 2x. I ended up getting sunburned and I now have a tan line. I dont think Ive ever been this brown before. When I compare the tan parts and the un-tanned parts, its almost unbelievable how light and how dark I am.

I collected some seashells for my brother Toby and took pictures of the sunset. My camera died early on in the day so sadly I dont have very many photos from the beach. :(

On Sunday we went to the Prime Outlet Mall here in Puerto Rico. I ended up buying a $80 plancha (hair straightener)! Ive never spent that much money on anything hair related before. It came with a smaller travel size one, a brush, bag and a few more gadgets. I really enjoyed walking around the mall but because Id already spent $80 I decided not to spend any more money.

After the Outlet mall we dropped Kevin off and headed over the the Casino in San Juan.





I was soooooo excited to play the slots. I didnt want to spend very much money there so I decided to only play $5. I ended up winning $11.97 from the original $5 and cashed out. I played another $5 from my winnings and ended up losing it all. :(

I played $4 more dollars to try and win again but my luck ran out and I lost it all. So in total I ended up losing about $3 total. haha It was a very fun experience. I really enjoyed being able to play in the Casino, the age to play here is only 18 and in the States it is 21. So I felt like I was cheating.

Ive spoken to my dad a few times. Once during his BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday again Daddy!

Ive been thinking about my dad coming to Puerto Rico. The only way I can even begin to come up with a reason why he hasnt returned is to compare it to when I first went to Williams College (my school).

When I left home for Williams I was excited and couldnt wait to leave home. Then when I went back home for Christmas Break I realized how much Id missed it and when it was time to return back to school I was very sad. Leaving home I didnt appreciate all the small things I never thought Id miss and when I realized how much I did miss those things it was harder to leave the second time around.

Maybe if my dad were to come back to Puerto Rico it would be overwhelming trying to explain whats happened in his life the last 20+ years. It hasnt been an easy 20+ years for him and it still isnt. I think he wants to come back when he's in a better place emotionally and financially.

Im just afraid that he will keep putting it off. I know that everyone here wants to see him again regardless of his situation. They are family.

The word FAMILY is so important. Before I came here I always imagined that my dads family was perfect and different from my moms family. AND they are different from my moms family but also very similar. They are wonderfully close, generous, caring and at times a little bit crazy (what family isnt?). Since Ive been here they have accepted me and treated me with the most hospitality Ive experienced anywhere. As soon as I enter a home they tell me to sit down, offer me something to drink/eat, ask me questions about myself, give me hugs, hold my hands and most times ask about how my dad is etc... Its wonderful to experience and its one of the things I will miss most Im sure.

Day 21: Bayamon

Another delayed post. I only have internet access here in Orocovis and Ive been in Bayamon for the last few days at my Uncle Ramons apartment.

I stayed in the apartment with my cousin Alba, her son Kevin and my cousin Yasmins son Ian. It was nice to be back in "civilization," it was also nice to finally spend some money. I bought a new pair of shoes. While we were in Bayamon we watched The Sorcerers Apprentice, went to the beach in Dorado and played alot of Mario Cart on the Wii.

Here is a photo from the beach and some photos that capture the mood of this mini-vacation.






The one complaint I have about Puerto Rico is about the mosquitoes. I must have 100 bites on my body. Every day I get at least 5 bites. Its very bad. :(

I got a chance to speak to my dad again and was able to give him the address to this blog. :) So if your reading this post Daddy: "HELLO!"

I hope you enjoy the pictures.
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Ive decided its about time to start introducing people.

Lets start with Uncle Ramon. He is 'technically' my dads cousin but they were raised together so they consider each other brothers. This picture sums him up perfectly. He is funny, outgoing, and a very wonderful person. I love him.



This is my Aunt Lucy. Ramons Wife. She has been feeding me non-stop since Ive been here. I love her too.



Here is a family picture with their kids and grandkids



More to come later

Day 18: Parque de las Cavernas (ALMOST) and "First Communion" by Accident

The last few days have been pretty uneventful. Its been raining every single day this week. All of the water from the rain broke the pipes so there has been little to no water here in Orocovis for maybe 5 days now.

A few days ago Uncle Ramon tried to take me to the Parque de las Cavernas. We got there around 1:30 just before it started to rain. We bought tickets for the Cave Tour and sat down to wait. Every single place we go my Uncle Ramon strikes up a conversation with people. He is a very social person. :)

While we were waiting it started to sprinkle and just as our number was called for the Introductory film before the actual tour it started to rain hard. Midway through the movie the power went out in the park and they told us that they couldn't let anyone go on the tour in the rain and that the park was closed for the day. I was bummed but Uncle Ramon said we would come back another day. Here is a picture of my Aunt Lucy and I while we were waiting.



Last night my Uncle wanted to take me to witness some "real Puerto Rican music" so we went to one of the local bars and listened to one of the local bands play a set. It was really great. I recorded part of it so that I could show my dad. I think he will really like it.



Today is Sunday and I went to my first ever Catholic Church service. It was beautiful. The blend of singing and preaching was nice and the obvious involvement of the people in the pews in the lecture was nice to watch and be apart of. We went to the Church of Orocovis, the same church where (I think) my dad was baptized and got his first communion. At the end of the service I got caught up in the group of people from my pew headed to the front to get communion and before I could sit back down in my seat the women behind me was ushering me forward to take communion. I looked at my Uncle Ramon and he nodded me to go ahead. I dont think I was supposed to take communion unless Ive been baptized and become a member of the church but in my defense I didnt know. After the service we went to talk to the priest and he blessed me. My Uncle Ramon asked me to get involved with the Catholic Church when I go back to school. I dont know if I will convert to Catholicism but I definitely want to learn more.

I dont think people necessarily label me as a religious person but thinking about it today Ive actually been involved in church for most of my life. When I was younger I went to a Christian church every Sunday. I helped with community service every Saturday in the 6-7th grades. I went to a Seventh Day Adventist school for both 6-7th grade and was actually baptized in that school when I was 13. Ive been around the Native American Church my entire life and took part in my first ceremony 2 summers ago. Ive known the traditional Navajo ceremonies every summer and when I was younger took a huge role in at least 2 of those ceremonies.

Religion has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. Even though I dont go to church anymore I still appreciate the lessons the church teaches people. They teach you to be a good person, to be generous and to have faith. I know that when I have kids I will take them to church. I know what I believe and I think of myself as a good person. I think I owe alot of that to the churches I attended when I was younger. I learned community service, to appreciate all that I have, faith, morals and that I should treat myself and others with respect. I really enjoyed today because it made me think about all of this. I also really enjoyed being in the church and knowing that there was a small possibility that I could have been sitting in the same seat my dad sat in when he was younger. Small chance I know, but it still made me happy.

Also, I realize I havent posted an image of a food Ive eaten in a while so here is a cookie. It was thin, hard and delicious.

Day 15:

Im sorry my last blog post sucked. I havent been feeling well and my internet connection is spotty.

So far this trip has been incredible. I think all of the freshness and awe that started this trip has started to wear off. Now it has been replaced with wanting to talk to my father about how Im feeling and about what Ive learned (or think Ive learned).

Since Ive been here he has not called me once.

I thought he would be calling me everyday. I want to talk to him about things and I want him to talk to his family. My Uncle Ramon asked me today if I thought my dad would ever come back to Puerto Rico, and I told him I didnt know.

I honestly dont know if my dad will ever come back to Puerto Rico. He has too many responsibilities right now. He has to take care of my younger siblings, his new wife, and he is still working. The contrast between my Uncle Ramon and my dad is striking.

My Uncle Ramon is retired, living in a gorgeous home, he is generous and a very outgoing person. His heart is huge.

My Dad is a very closed person. I feel like I've went through my entire life up to this point not knowing who he is or anything about him. I think my dad tried his best to be a good father but the problems with my mother kept him from doing so.

I feel so grateful to have him as my dad. Ive always felt proud of being 1/2 Puerto Rican and I was always happy to have him in my life. My dad and I have started getting closer this year. We went from talking 3 or 4 times a year to talking everday. He has really opened up to me in the last few months, confiding in me and really letting me see how much he cares. I miss that right now. I want him to call me.

The last few nights I have stayed with my cousin Lizzy and cousin Pito. The uncomfortable-ness is still there. They have made more of an effort to communicate with me, if looking at me every once in a while and making hand motions to come eat is communication.

Other than this little bump in this adventure things have been well. I am happy, well-fed and very contemplative.

Today my Uncle Ramon and I were talking about my father more in depth.

My dads dad (my grandfather) was in the military, he went to Korea. He married my grandmother Carmen and had 3 children (my dad, Wanda, and Orlando). Apparently he got shot and came back to Puerto Rico a little messed up. He got money from the government (about $40,000) and when Carmen left him he spent it all on random things.

When Carmen left, my dads Aunt (Ramons mom) took all 3 kids in with her, because my grandfather was not equipped to take care of them. Ramon says she loved them like her own kids and that my dad was a "really nice boy."

My Aunt Wanda got married (for the first time) when she was 16. My dad joined the military when he was 18 or 19. I mentioned that I had some of the postcards my grandmother (Ramons Mom: from now on when I mention Grandmother she is who I will be referring to) sent to him.

I know that my dad was stationed in Germany for a while and that he learned English while serving in the military.
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The more I learn about my dad, the sadder I get when I think about what he went through in his childhood and with my mother. I know the next time we talk we will have alot to discuss and this trip will only bring us closer. I feel a deep need to make sure he comes back to Puerto Rico. I know it would mean the world to him and to his family and Im going to do everything I can to make it happen.

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Alot has happened in the last few days. I am having trouble posting pictures to this blog but I will add them once the internet is more stable.

Day 8-14: ToroVerde, Bayamon, Shopping and then Back to Orocovis

Sorry I havent updated in a while, I was without an internet connection for the last few days. But lets get you updated on whats happened the last few days.

Days 8-9: consisted of ToroVerde which was pretty lackluster. The day was rainy and the ride on the zipline lasted less than 2 minutes, NOT worth the $45 ticket price. The view from the zipline was fantastic but I still dont feel like it was worth it. The actual zipline was too slow and too short. I went with my cousin Ramon. We took pictures with the sign.



Sadly I wasnt allowed to bring my camera with me so there are no pictures from the actual zipline :(

I spent these nights at my Aunt Wandas house, where my cousin Lizzy (Lizbeth) and Pito are living now. It was a weird experience. Neither one of them said a word to me the entire time I was there. It was the first time on my visit here where Ive felt just slightly uncomfortable.

Days 10-12:

I went back to Bayamon to stay with my Aunt Ada. She is a wonderful woman. We went out to eat, I had Triomofongo (I think thats what it was called) with shrimp and I did alot of shopping with my cousin Jessica and her daughter Amanda. <3




I bought tons more shirts and 3 pairs of jeans. I spent most of the days playing with Amanda. We dressed up multiple Barbie dolls, tickled each other, watched TV and took funny pictures.

Aunt Ada gave me lots of presents including jewelery, shoes, and a PRADA wallet! Mostly I stayed in the house because it was raining all of the days I was there and because I got a little sick. My throat was itchy and I felt very tired.
The days were fun and very girly.

My Aunt Ada fixed my hair almost everday and told me not to cut it anymore. haha. She gave me lots of pictures of my dad when he was younger and also some old postcards from when he was in the ARMY.




Day 13:

I am back in Orocovis at my Uncle Ramons house. Will update with more details and pictures later.

Day 7: Longaniza and CocoPina

I am still at my Uncle Ramons home. Today we drove around Orocovis. The views were amazing. I cant even begin to describe them. Try to imagine the most beautiful mountains ever and then lots of pretty little house tucked nicely into the landscape, lots of trees with fruit growing on them etc. etc.




Absolutely beautiful.

We went into town to get my Uncle Ramons radio fixed. While we were waiting we ate Longaniza (sausages) and Tostones and bought some Cocopina, a kind of coconut candy made with sugar, coconut and pineapple. I realize that I keep talking about food, thats because the food here is delicious. I will be asking my Aunt Lucy for recipes before I leave and my Uncle Ramon has already promised to buy me lots of candy for the trip home. I will be well stocked when I get back to Massachusetts in the fall.

Tonight, I plan on watching The Roots, a movie series my Uncle has. I also plan on getting a good nights sleep because today we also drove to a place called ToroVerde. After reading about ToroVerde in the newspaper and visiting today, we decided that we would go back tomorrow to spend the day there.

ToroVerde, is conveniently located here in Orocovis. ToroVerde (green bull) is an ecotourist adventure park. What makes it great is that it is home to the longest zip line in the world! This is what I will be doing:



Doesnt that look like so much fun? I cant wait.

This is the description of the 'tour' I will be doing straight from the website:

The Beast Tour
Ever wonder how birds feel flying freely across the sky? This tour allows you to experience it firsthand. You'll be flying in the same position birds do with a special harness securely holding your chest and waist. With a 4,745 feet length(1.446km) we're sure you'll find this ride exhilarating, although is the biggest Zipline in the world.

The Beast
Cable Length 4745 feet
Cable Speed Medium
Max Height 853 feet

Day 6: Shopping in Orocovis

Yesterday we went into Orocovis. This is by far the most beautiful place Ive ever seen. The mountains are breathtaking. This could easily be the most beautiful place in the world. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the layout of Puerto Rico, Orocovis is located in the center of the island. It is often called "the center and heart of Puerto Rico."





This is where my father was raised and this is where my Uncle Ramon lives. The day started out with driving into Orocovis for my uncles doctors appointment. While he visited the doctor I decided to finally buy something. Since Ive been here I have not spent a cent. Yesterday made up for that. I ended up buying 7 new shirts and 5 pairs of earrings. It seems strange but the clothes here seem much prettier than in the States. haha Anyway, I liked everything in the stores I visited that I really had to restrain myself. The HUGE sale the stores were having didnt help either. I wanted to buy everything in that store.

Near the stores where I shopped my Uncle pointed out the church (inglesia) of Orocovis. I took a picture of the exterior not the interior. I didnt know until we were leaving that I could have went inside.

After my Uncles appointment we drove by my dads house. This is the home where he grew up and the home of my grandfather Juan Sr. My dads cousin lives next to the old house and told me that my dads house is waiting for him to live in it again. If my dad ever wants to move back he has a house! I think I may take that offer. This place is wonderful.



I also got to see the school my dad went to. Being here really makes me feel like I understand my father better.

I find it hard to understand why he would leave this gorgeous little town in the mountains. Experiencing this place and its people and culture makes me wish more and more that my dad could be here. I would give anything to see his expressions and hear him describe and explain everything to me in his own words.

After touring Orocovis we stopped by my Aunt Wandas house, her daughters live there now but it was also home to my father at one time as well. After Wandas house we went back to my uncles house for lunch. We had Bacalou (fish, onions, tomatoes).



In the afternoon my Uncle cleaned out his swimming pool and we swam for a while. Then we settled into the living room after a dinner of Garlic chicken and Plantains and watched The Bachelorette (mostly because Ive been keeping up with the series and found a version in English). I think they enjoyed it. During the commercials we switched to a basketball game between Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic (I think it was a championship game) and Puerto Rico won so that was even better.

The day was pretty wonderful overall. This place is gorgeous and I understand now my fathers warning, "you're not going to want to leave." Orocovis is absolutely incredible.

Day 5: Leaving Bayamon and Entering Orocovis

Today started with going to church. I knew that my Uncle Ramon would be coming to pick me up so I packed my things and headed to church with my Uncle Orlando and his family. It was very interesting. I actually understood a good bit of what was being said. The written pamphlet helped alot too! haha During our little breakout session the pastor asked me to describe something and then my cousins jumped in and said "ella habla ingles! (she speaks English)" and they left me alone after that.

After the church service we bought some Piragua, I had the creme flavored one this time and we picked some fruit (cant remember the name right now but it was delicious!). Then my cousins, my neices and I took pictures of our tongues because the piragua stained them. It was really fun.



As soon as we got home my Uncle Ramon picked me up and we headed to Yunque (the National Forest!). It was gorgeous. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.





After we tooks lots of pictures at Yunque we met up with my cousin __________, Ramoncitos sister. Then we stopped at one of the local food stands and bought some food (rice, beans, pork and plantains!).

After eating the food we headed back into San Juan to walk around a bit. We tried to feed the birds but they wouldnt take the food, I guess it makes sense since they are most likely being fed TONS of food everyday by tons of visitors. haha

We took some group photos and I met my cousin Ramoncitos girlfriend. She was very nice and very pretty. We went to see the Governors house and bought some candy (my favorite kind!). After our walk we started the 1 hour long drive into Orocovis (the center and the heart of the island also the hometown of my Dad).

Now I am here and I cant wait to see it in the daylight. We are high in the mountains. I can hear the Coqui and its time for bed. I will be staying with my Aunt Wandas kids starting tomorrow, but for now I am spending the night in my Uncle Ramons house.

Day 4: Family Tree and San Juan Ferry

Today I woke up early because I thought we were going to San Juan in the morning only to find out we were going in the afternoon. So I watched cartoons with my neices. I tried to talk to my Uncle and I made a timeline of my dads immediate family. Turns out my dad is 1 of 11 kids!

My grandma (dads mom) Carmen was married 3 times. She had 3 kids from her first marriage (Sara, Dalia and Gregory), then 3 kids from her second marriage (Juan -my dad, Orlando and Wanda) ---this explains why my dad said he was the youngest and why everyone else said he was the eldest kindof. Then my grandmother had 5 kids in her 3rd marriage (Marebel, ?, ?, ?,?). That makes 11 kids total.

Carmen left Puerto Rico with her 3 older kids (from the 1st marriage) and left my dad, Orlando and Wanda here in Puerto Rico. I dont know why yet. She re-married and had more kids. Now I understand why my dad could never answer me when I asked how many siblings he had, I dont think even he knew how many. Please forgive my very bad drawing of our family tree.



My dad was raised by my Uncle Ramons mother. So technically my dad and Ramon are cousins but since they were raised together they are like brothers. My cousins say that Ramons mother (our Grandmother!?) was the nicest lady ever. She loved my dad, Orlando and Wanda like they were her own kids. Apparently she always sent presents to my cousins on their birthdays and holidays. She was a wonderful women from every story Ive heard about her. She died about 8 years ago. I wish I could have met her.

Like I said when my dad left Puerto Rico ~27 years ago they all expected him to come back for the funeral but he didnt. Apparently my Uncle Orlando was 11 when my dad left and he cried and cried and cried. He always wondered where my dad was and when my Grandmother died he was sad and suprised that my dad didnt show up. I told them that we probabley didnt know about it, since we moved around so much.

This women raised my dad like he was her own son. I love her for that.

My grandma Carmen is still alive and either living in Massachusetts or Milwalkee. My cousin told me that my Uncle Orlando tried to talk to her once through my Aunt Sara but that she never wanted to. She sick apparently.

My aunt Sara and my Uncle Greg live in Massachusetts about an hour away from where I go to school. I plan on meeting them in September. I found Sara in one of my online searches for my dad and talked with her for a few weeks before she stopped answering her phone and redirecting/not returning my calls. She did this to my dad as well and after talking with my cousin this is exactly what happened to my Uncle Orlando.

The way my cousin described it. My Uncle Orlando just wants to hear her voice. He doesnt want anything from her, he doesnt want to make her feel bad or ask questions. He just wants to hear his mothers voice and let her know that hes alive and doing okay. I think this is what my dad wants as well.

I can understand not wanting to talk because it might be hard for her to explain why she left the 3 of them in Puerto Rico and took the other kids but I think she could at least let my dad, my Uncle and my Aunt hear her voice. Maybe its good she wont talk to them. If it went badly I think it would upset them all. ....

Ive begun to notice similarities between my Uncle, cousins, my dad and I. The best one so far is that we all bite/chew our nails. I saw my Uncle doing it and asked what nails were called in Spanish. When he told me the word I told him I eat my nails too! Then his wife (my aunt) laughed out loud and called us family. Apparently my cousins all chew their nails too. That makes my Uncle, my Aunt Wanda, my cousins, my neices, My dad and I the same. Now I dont feel so bad for doing it, apprently it runs in the family. They all said "Rivera!" haha

It amazes me how much my Uncle Orlando looks like my father. I showed my cousins and my uncle my dads old ID and a few of the pictures I have of him and my cousins think they look like twins. Its true. I will post pictures so you can decide for yourselves. My dad is the one in the Drivers License picture and my Uncle Orlando is the one on the couch.




After talking about the family tree for a bit we got ready to go to San Juan. We drove to a boat dock and bought tickets to take the ferry across to San Juan. It was quite an experience. Ive been on boats before, but not in the ocean, and not a public transportation boat!

It was really hot so it was sweaty but fun. We walked around some of the shops in San Juan, but could only take so much heat that we sat down and bought some fresh oranges (chinas!). They were green and orange and brown on the outside. I hardly recognized them as oranges but the vender peeled them and sliced the top of them open for us so we were able to drink the juice and eat the fruit inside.



It was delicious. After the oranges we went back to the boat station and waited for the boat/ferry to arrive and take us back to the car. I got money out of the ATM and bought some bacalao. It tasted like frybread with garlic. Delicious!



We took the boat back across and drove home. Now I am on the couch in the living room (sala) writing this. My cousins computer is still down so I wont be able to post for a while.

Tomorrow my Uncle Ramon, my cousin Ramoncito and my Aunt Lucy are picking me up to go to the Pulque (National Forest of Puerto Rico and the ONLY rainforest in the US).

I want to go shopping. I feel like I need to shop. I need to buy trinkets (cosas) and new clothes (ropa.

Day 3: Meeting Ada

Went to meet Ada today. On the way we bought some (fruita). It was delicious. When we bought it, my cousins and my neices were very excited and grabbing it as fast as they could. I had no idea what it was or how to eat it until one of my cousins handed me the fruit and told me to eat it. It was the most delicious thing Ive ever eaten. The texture is like nothing Ive ever eaten. It feels like goo or slime or something but it has tiny fibers in it too. We ate the fruit while driving to Adas.



When we got to Adas house I didnt know what to expect. My dad and my Uncle Orlando both thought she would cry when she saw me but she didnt. She gave me a big hug and took us to her bedroom where we sat on the bad and talked. When I say talked, I mean she talked with my Uncle Orlando and my aunt about random things.

Its times like this I wish I understood and could speak more Spanish. I feel like Im missing out on alot because I cant understand or answer questions. I feel like once people know I cant speak Spanish they ignore me and talk to my Uncle or my cousins. Its very frustrating.

Anyway. Ada was wonderful. She is beautiful and the entire time she and my Uncle were talking she rubbed my back. The way you know you are comfortable with someone is when it feels perfectly natural for them to be rubbing your back. haha

I took pictures of Ada and her dog.



When we left Adas my cousins took me to some of the food stands near San Juan where we eat Pincho and I got to drink my first Coco Frio (a fresh coconut) and a legit Pina Colada.



The pincho was awesome. This may be my new favorite food. The coconut was okay. The water inside had a tiny bit of flavor but mostly it was tasteless. There was alot of water in it though so I couldnt really finish it. It took awhile. My cousins ordered a Pina Colada that tasted delicious. There was some Karoke going on near the stand we were eating at so it was nice having entertainment with our dinner. haha

We stayed there for a while eating then we came back home to sleep. I got the bed to myself that night. Yesterday Karla (my neice) slept with me which made me feel better about taking up an entire room just for myself. My uncles house has 3 bedrooms. 1 bedroom is for his wife and him, the one Im in is just for me and my 4 cousins and 2 neices are sharing the other one! I dont mind sharing the bed, but I think they would feel bad if they hadnt given me the room so I havent said anything.

Ive been getting tired very early. I think the time here is 1 hour ahead of Eastern time so I shouldnt be getting tired at 9 here because in MA thats only 8 and in AZ its only 6!!!! It must be the heat.

The temperature here has been about 95 degrees constantly. The shutter/windows/walls I described earlier help this a little but not much. When I sleep I have a fan on me the entire time and I wake up sweaty every morning. The shower in Orlandos apartment only has cold water but its fine because everytime I take a shower (which has been 2-3x a day) its a welcome change in temperature.

Thats it for today.

PS: My cousins computer died so Im typing this on my own computers notepad and will post when they get a new computer and when we find internet access again.

Day 2: Playa, Coqui y Caminar

I slept very well last night. I think Williamstown humidity and heat has prepared me well for the Puerto Rican days/nights. I woke up this morning, showered and watched cartoons with my neices. It was a show called "Lazy Town" en Espanol. We decided to go the beach again today because it was sooo hot.

So before we left we eat fried platanos con churrasco.



It was so delicious. So far Ive loved every single thing Ive eaten here.

Went to same beach as yesterday and spent most of it looking for shells and burying people in the sand. I think the best part of the day today was the helado de coco. It was perfect in the heat. We caught alot of cobitos (crabs?) and left the beach when we got hungry.




On the way back we bought a pizza from one of the local "shops" near the road. We parked in a residential area and ate it. Then while my older cousin was talking with some of her friends, my other cousin and I went for a walk around the block. Then I helped my cousin wash the car outside and realized that the noises I was hearing around me were the Coqui, Puerto Rico's special frog. It was really exciting. Ever since I was little I always dreamed of coming here and hearing them. Those frogs were one of the only things I knew of Puerto Rico.

Today was pretty normal. We went to the beach and it was wonderful. No complaints. This really is the life. haha

Not understanding the majority of whats being said around me is starting to get to me. They speak so fast, its hard to get more than a few words out of the sentence that I can translate in my head. I think that because Im listening and trying to translate in my head they think Im very quiet, and they keep asking if Im enjoying my self and if Im okay.

I need to start speaking Spanish soon! If anything this trip is going to really solidify my yearning to become fluent in Spanish.

I think I can also give a beginners comment on the architecture. All of the houses have these shutter-like things on the sides of the houses. It gets so hot here that it really helps with airflow.



They are hard to describe but after touring my Uncle Orlando's home and seeing it on all the other houses in the neighborhood we walked around in I think I can say its pretty standard in every home. They work wonderfully, very helpful with airflow and cooling off the rooms.

It was a really good day, thats really all I have to say. It was like yesterday. I feel like I belong here. I really wish my dad was here, it gets a little overwhelming at times and I just feel like this experience would just mean the world to him and his family. Its one thing for me to come here and answer the questions but it would be so much better if he were here to speak for himself.

Tomorrow Im going to meet my Aunt Ada.

My father says she will cry when she meets me.

Day 1: First Timer on La Playa

Hello everyone!

I arrived safe and sound on the island at noon Atlantic time. I had quite the adventure in trying to get here though. I woke up at 3am to get to the airport in time for my 6am flight (Thanks Lili!). Made it to Albany about an hour before my flight and found the security line going all the way out into the parking garage. I have never seen the line that long before. But luckily for me the line went really really quickly.

I got onto my first flight fine. Switched into a window seat and tried to sleep on the way to DC. BUT Albany airport decided that they didnt want to send us flying just yet. We had to wait 50 mins on the plane on the runway because the air around NY was really crowded apparently. Already having a tiny 30 min window to connect in DC, I was sure I would miss the connecting flight.

We left and I let myself get used to the thought of having to wait just a little bit longer to see the beautiful island. BUT luckily for me my flight went super fast and we made it just a few minutes after we were supposed to arrive. The plane was super tiny so we all got to talking while waiting to lift off and since everyone knew that I had such a limited window to connect to my next flight, as soon as the plane landed they all remained seated and let me run from the back of the plane to catch my next flight.

My plane landed in the wrong terminal though and my carry on bag still was under the plane. So after waiting impatiently for the bag carrier to bring it to me, I grabbed it and took off running. I had 14 minutes before the plane left so I ran and ran. I ran to the shuttle so it could take me to the right terminal and ran to the gate D5 and AGAIN luckily for me the boarding was stalled for 30 minutes. The plane was booked so I checked in at the gate, printed my new ticket and breathed.

On the plane I started to feel like it was really happening, I was going to Puerto Rico. I got really nervous and excited. It was a good mix of emotions. I tried to sleep on the plane but didnt because of the emotions I was feeling.

I opened the window screen a few times and looked out over the ocean. It was wonderful. (I will add photos later!!!! Im borrowing a computer and the pics arnt loaded onto this one) This was the first time Id ever seen the ocean. It was huge and blue.



Once the plane started to lower into San Juan I caught my first glimpse of the island. It was beautiful from the air so I took lots of pictures.



It took a while for me to meet up with my Uncle Ramon, Aunt Lucy, and cousin Ramoncito (Jr!) because I couldnt find them and that kind of freaked me out. BUT I did eventually find them.

It was incredibly weird walking into the airport and hearing NO english spoken around me. I found my Uncle and they took me on a quick tour of San Juan!

We went to a beach, the Castillo, the Island Capital, ate at a food stand, got some piragua, and drove through Old San Juan on 300 year old brick roads. It was amazing. I was in awe just looking around.








Then my Uncle Ramon took me to my Uncle Orlando's house in Bayamon, where Im spending my first night. As soon as we brought my things up to the 4th floor of his building, he told me in Spanish to get ready to go the beach. I barely understood but I heard "playa (beach)" and understood. I dressed and 2 of his daughters (my primos (cousins)) picked me up a bit later. We drove about 20 minutes to the beach and swam!

I kept thinking in my head "Wow. Im swimming in a beach in Puerto Rico!"

It was quite an interesting and relaxing experience after a day of traveling. Something swam against a few of my cousins legs and then mine so we jumped out of the water for a while. But it was great. The water was cool and the beach was gorgeous with palm trees and coconuts being used as toys in the water. Wonderful, wonderful day.

We washed off the salt water and drove back to my uncles house where he had a nice dinner cooked up for us. Now I am fed, showered and ready for sleep.

Today was fantastic. I dont know how Im going to top this but I have 2 months to try. :)

Its absolutely beautiful here and I feel like Ive been here for my entire life (besides not understanding alot of what people are saying to me). Family is great. My uncle Orlando looks alot like my father!!!!

I found out that my dad is actually the oldest child according to family here, but he maintains that he is the youngest... hmmm! Its funny everyone I ask has a different number for the number of siblings he has. I think this will take longer than I thought. All this complication and mystery is exciting for me.